What are the problems of trust in the relationship and ways to cope?

What are the problems of trust in the relationship and ways to cope?

By nature, human beings are creatures that tend to believe in the truths that they find reasonable within the framework of their own value judgments and to internalize these truths. Being a social being, human being's ability to establish deep relationships with other people is exactly the result of this tendency. In other words, we can say that emotional relationships such as friendship and love, as well as the attraction that develops between people; It develops thanks to the fact that these people find each other "convincing" and "reliable". The phenomenon of trust, which has become even more important especially in emotional relationships and marriages, can both exalt the relationship in question and sink it to the ground. We have written the source of the trust problem in the relationship that many people complain about and the ways to overcome this problem:

Where does the problem of trust in a relationship come from?

The problem of trust, which is the number one enemy of relationships, is usually caused by the negative experiences and traumas of the person's childhood and early youth. Children who do not receive enough love and affection in the family environment, who are abandoned for various reasons or who are exposed to violence, are highly likely to experience trust problems in their relationships in the future.

Childhood traumas are one of the biggest causes of trust problems in relationships.

Some negativities experienced in adolescence, which is an extremely important period in human life, are also post-traumatic reasons behind the problem of trust in relationships. Because in this period, sharp social distinctions are experienced among young people. For example, while one group of young people spends their adolescence period in a very social way, another group of young people, on the contrary, may behave in a way that is introverted and isolated from social life. As a result, young people in the second group are generally not accepted by other young people and are marginalized. This situation causes young people to have serious self-confidence problems during this period when they are building their characters. As a result of all these, we can easily say that the reason for an adult person to have a trust problem in a relationship may be a lack of self-confidence and the fear of not being accepted by his partner.

The reasons for the problem of trust in the relationship are not only negative experiences in childhood and adolescence. Even adults who had a problem-free childhood / adolescence may face this problem for the rest of their lives due to traumas such as cheating, violence and abandonment in their relationships.

How do you know if you have trust issues in your relationship?

Undoubtedly, one of the three pillars of a relationship is trust. In other words, it is very difficult to say that a relationship in which the parties do not fully trust each other will continue in a healthy way. If you think that there is something wrong in your relationship, but you cannot fully understand the problem, you can measure the trust between you and your partner by answering the questions below.

Disrespect for privacy is the most important symptom of trust problem in a relationship.
Disrespect for privacy is the most important symptom of trust problem in a relationship.
When your spouse/lover leaves his phone on the table and goes, do you pick up the phone and sneak it around?
Do you want to be informed about everything that is going on in the life of your spouse / lover, important / unimportant?
Do you worry about abandonment when you have an argument or tension?
Do you feel lonely even if you have full emotional / sexual intimacy in your relationship?
Do you think that your spouse / lover will not keep their promises to you?
If the majority of your answers to this simple test are YES, you may have developed a distrust of your partner. So let's take a look at ways to build a trusting relationship together:

Ways to overcome the problem of trust in a relationship

Be transparent
One of the biggest reasons for the insidious growing distrust in relationships is that couples are transparent enough with each other. Be you, even if you have made a mistake, do not hide it from your spouse / lover. If you are in trouble, instead of hiding it from him, offering to solve the problem together will strengthen the bond of trust between you. In addition, applying all these means that you have the right to expect them from the other party.

One of the best ways to overcome meaningless doubts is to be able to use the sentence "I wish I were in his place". Think about what you would do if you were the addressee of the issues that you stumble upon and suspect.

Strengthen your communication
There is nothing like communicating openly with your partner/lover. If you have fears of being abandoned, deceived and not accepted that cause you anxiety, share them with your partner and express that you want to overcome them. It will not be possible for your closest person to be indifferent to you in such a situation.

Couples should have an individual world
Couples should have an individual world
Take “no” as an answer
Your partner / your lover may sometimes say “No” to you. Instead of treating it as a big drama, take no as a valid answer and use it when needed. (For example, try to accept the answer "No, because I have plans with my friends tonight" when you want to go out to dinner with your girlfriend as normal)

Believe in the power of personal growth
One of the best ways to drive away the foxes running around in your head is to invest in yourself and your self. The more you strengthen your character and mind, the more confident you will be and the more easily you can set aside insecurity.


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