Dear Reader, Family, Marriage, Couple Counselor and Relationship Specialist, I wrote the importance of differences in family marriage and spouse selection. Good reading…

How should we understand the difference in relationships?
How important are differences in marriage?

It is perhaps the most important decision of our life to choose the person we will marry. Differences are important in all kinds of human relationships, but perhaps they play a vital role in marriage. While reasonable differences can turn into wealth, some differences can cause endless conflicts. The differences that are not seen or ignored before marriage, which are said to change when they get married, begin to lose peace shortly after the marriage takes place. One or both couples return to factory settings.

It is desired to be the same at every point when choosing a partner during the marriage phase. How true is this?

How can we reasonably find the search for sameness in the candidate wife, even when the brothers born from the same parents and growing up in the same house are other realms? In marriage, we seek equivalence, not uniformity, we must seek. Equivalence does not mean equality, equality. Equivalence is a middle way between unacceptable differences and sameness.

How much can we differ in choosing a partner? Is it possible to notice the differences and take a stand according to them before getting married?

The prerequisite for recognizing the differences is self-awareness. Being aware of yourself means; Knowing their own needs, priorities, indispensables, potentials and limits, however, means being familiar with their own family history - hence the family structure - the world view, beliefs and values ​​of their family and close environment.
Considering the fact that marriage is mostly done in youth, it can make our job easier to evaluate the thoughts of the family elders, to consult with those we trust in their knowledge and heart, and to get professional help to help see so many elements.

Are the same behaviors expected from people who grow up in different cultures and in different ways?

Behavior is the general name for all kinds of cognitive, affective, and bodily responses we have towards the outside world, and all these responses interact with each other. Therefore, even if we are grown in the same style, we exhibit different emotions and behaviors against similar situations. The way we all internalize time, place, and events, and how we strike out, is another. Even the same person can react differently to the same situation at different times and environments.
When evaluating the co-candidate, we must first ask the questions to ourselves, the right questions will lead to useful hints. Do I know my temperament, personality, and language of love, do I know my feelings? What are my emotional, physical and social needs, what do I expect from my spouse and the new family I will be in, to what extent can I withstand these expectations? So what expectations can my wife and her family answer? Are the expectations I can't answer are the type I can adapt to over time or do I expect those expectations to disappear?

Equivalence does not seem possible in all matters. So what should be done to catch the same frequency?

Catching the same frequency, turning the differences into richness, ensuring harmony, not consuming this short life with controversy depends on our effort and care. Nobody takes happiness as a package with the marriage book. The difference of happy couples from those who are not able to marry is not to face difficulties, but to know how to overcome those difficulties and to try new ways when they cannot.

Happy marriage has many secrets. Each marriage can have its own secrets of happiness. However, general rules should not be forgotten. What are those rules?

Being willing to make a living, endeavor to keep our style pleasant in all conditions, not to leave compassion, to keep respect as much as possible, to see the strong and loving sides of our spouse, to value our spouse and to show this with our behavior, to be solution-oriented in times of crisis, to accept that discussions and conflicts are natural, demanding not being stuck in the mode but being sensitive to the needs of our partner…
Happy marriage is not luck, happiness is built with effort and patience. Happiness is also not constant, but constant; it is a bumpy state, it should not be lost in descent and control in the descent.
The peace of the good day and the bad day falls on the share of those who can accept their marriage with their ups and downs.

As a result, if you are having family-marriage or couple problems, if you cannot tolerate differences and turn them into richness, you should call our hotline 0533 373 81 23 and get professional help.


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